I haven't been great about writing. I haven't given anybody this wesbite yet though, so I guess I'm not disappointing anybody. I need to do better about it though. It feels good to just write.
Today was the last day of classes for me before finals next week. Oh, man, am I stressed. Over the years I've hated how big of a procrastinator I am. I try to justify it all the time, but I know that I waste too much time doing unproductive things. I've often wondered how good my grades would be if I really applied myself. I honestly think my potential would be limitless. I think that changing that one attribute about myself would make a huge difference in who I am and what doors are open to me in the future.
A big reason for my procrastination is my lack of planning and follow-through with my planning. At the beginning of every semester, I take out my syllabi (great word) and write down every test and assignment. Then I put my planner in my backpack, and take it out once or twice in the next four months. If I were to sit down each night and plan the following day minute by minute (being flexible of course, for the wife's sake), and then actually follow through with my plan, I could get so much more done.
Anyway, the irony of this post is that I decided to write because I should be studying for a test right now that I have to take in about two hours. So I should end now and get going.
Thursday, December 08, 2005
Wednesday, November 23, 2005
"Esse Quam Videri"
I figure that if I'm going to name my blog a Latin phrase, I probably should give some sort of explanation as to what it means. I'll attempt to get my point across on this, although I'm pretty sure what I type won't be nearly as good as the way it makes sense in my head. I wish my professors understood that!
Do you ever feel that the person that you appear to be to others isn't who you really are? I know it's true for me, and I'm beginning to realize more and more that many people experience this. As I interact with people, whether at school, at work (I work in the home theatre department of my local Best Buy), or with my friends, I feel too often that I put on a mask so that others won't see my imperfections. A quick example. Tonight I was working, and a guy called in because an employee had given him false information about a tv's capabilities. I was left to grovel and try to make things better, but this guy was absolutely closed to any sort of solution to make up for our mistake. He became somewhat beligerent, using profanity to get his point across. Now, in my head I was conjuring up my own bit of vocabulary that I would have liked to use on him. I so badly wanted to just chew him out and tell him exactly how I was feeling, but instead kept it all inside and was relatively cordial (probably a good choice).
When I'm with friends and family I think I appear to be quite a straight arrow. But my inner self is so far from it. Who I am when I'm by myself is quite different than the apparently ever-smiling person I am in public.
The term "esse quam videri" suggests bringing into allignment who you are and who you appear to be. The literal translation is "to be rather than to seem." Another way of putting it is "what you see is what you get." Now, I don't think this means that I need to wear on my sleeve all my imperfections and feelings of inadaquacy. In fact, I don't think I should change what I appear to be at all, because I quite like the person I portray. Rather, I want to actually become the person I seem to be. I want to progress to the point where nothing I think, say, or do while by myself would be disappointing to those I'm close to. I want to be somebody who is genuinely kind, ambitious, bright, organized, etc.--not just in the way I act--but in who I am.
One also could really like their inner self, but then struggle when standing up for those values when put under negative pressure from friends or difficult situations. I've met so many people who are genuinely good people, yet struggle to represent that in their actions.
I understand that this a lofty goal. In all reality, I know that I'll never, in this life, progress to the point of being exactly who I want to be. However, I think it's the process of actively striving for it that adds character, and it's that character that I really desire.
Man, it really is hard to explain what I'm thinking. This idea has been incubating in my brain for a few weeks, and what seems to have hatched on this blog is quite an ugly duckling.
Think of what "esse quam videri" means to you. Take inventory of your life regarding those things that aren't in allignment with who you want to really become. And in the words of Forrest Gump, "That's all I have to say about that."
The movie "Ghost" is on, with Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, and Whoopi Goldberg. Classic. But those devil shadow things that take people off to Hell are really silly. Kind of disturbing, but moreso just funny.
Do you ever feel that the person that you appear to be to others isn't who you really are? I know it's true for me, and I'm beginning to realize more and more that many people experience this. As I interact with people, whether at school, at work (I work in the home theatre department of my local Best Buy), or with my friends, I feel too often that I put on a mask so that others won't see my imperfections. A quick example. Tonight I was working, and a guy called in because an employee had given him false information about a tv's capabilities. I was left to grovel and try to make things better, but this guy was absolutely closed to any sort of solution to make up for our mistake. He became somewhat beligerent, using profanity to get his point across. Now, in my head I was conjuring up my own bit of vocabulary that I would have liked to use on him. I so badly wanted to just chew him out and tell him exactly how I was feeling, but instead kept it all inside and was relatively cordial (probably a good choice).
When I'm with friends and family I think I appear to be quite a straight arrow. But my inner self is so far from it. Who I am when I'm by myself is quite different than the apparently ever-smiling person I am in public.
The term "esse quam videri" suggests bringing into allignment who you are and who you appear to be. The literal translation is "to be rather than to seem." Another way of putting it is "what you see is what you get." Now, I don't think this means that I need to wear on my sleeve all my imperfections and feelings of inadaquacy. In fact, I don't think I should change what I appear to be at all, because I quite like the person I portray. Rather, I want to actually become the person I seem to be. I want to progress to the point where nothing I think, say, or do while by myself would be disappointing to those I'm close to. I want to be somebody who is genuinely kind, ambitious, bright, organized, etc.--not just in the way I act--but in who I am.
One also could really like their inner self, but then struggle when standing up for those values when put under negative pressure from friends or difficult situations. I've met so many people who are genuinely good people, yet struggle to represent that in their actions.
I understand that this a lofty goal. In all reality, I know that I'll never, in this life, progress to the point of being exactly who I want to be. However, I think it's the process of actively striving for it that adds character, and it's that character that I really desire.
Man, it really is hard to explain what I'm thinking. This idea has been incubating in my brain for a few weeks, and what seems to have hatched on this blog is quite an ugly duckling.
Think of what "esse quam videri" means to you. Take inventory of your life regarding those things that aren't in allignment with who you want to really become. And in the words of Forrest Gump, "That's all I have to say about that."
The movie "Ghost" is on, with Patrick Swayze, Demi Moore, and Whoopi Goldberg. Classic. But those devil shadow things that take people off to Hell are really silly. Kind of disturbing, but moreso just funny.
Saturday, November 12, 2005
My Blog
I've been thinking lately that I should give this blogging thing a shot. I don't really like the name "blog" because it sounds like some kind of mythical creature from a fantasy novel. Until recently I thought blogging was something for teenage computer geeks who don't want to share their feelings audibly to anybody. I've recently realized, however, that blogging is a great way to record experiences and knowledge, and to make it available to others who can also benefit from it. Yesterday I went to a lecture by Paul Allen, the CEO of myfamily.com and ancestry.com (not the Microsoft guy, but an amazingly successful entrepreneur). He talked about this, and referred us to his blog (http://www.infobaseventures.com/blog/oldblog/) where he says:
"Writing down great ideas makes them permanent ("the faintest pencil is keener than the sharpest mind") and if you think good ideas come from a Higher Intelligence than your own and you value them enough to write them down and act on them, from my experience, you'll find that it leads to having more of them."
He then quoted Joseph Smith, Jr. as saying:
". . . for neglecting to write these things when God had revealed them, not esteeming them of sufficient worth, the Spirit may withdraw . . . and there is, or was, a vast knowledge, of infinite importance, which is now lost."
So here I am. Hopefully someone finds this blog and learns something from me. I am also excited to read and learn from the responses of those who read this. I think we call that a "symbiotic relationship" (going back to biology in high school). My next post will explain the name of my blog, "Esse Quam Videri." Enjoy!
"Writing down great ideas makes them permanent ("the faintest pencil is keener than the sharpest mind") and if you think good ideas come from a Higher Intelligence than your own and you value them enough to write them down and act on them, from my experience, you'll find that it leads to having more of them."
He then quoted Joseph Smith, Jr. as saying:
". . . for neglecting to write these things when God had revealed them, not esteeming them of sufficient worth, the Spirit may withdraw . . . and there is, or was, a vast knowledge, of infinite importance, which is now lost."
So here I am. Hopefully someone finds this blog and learns something from me. I am also excited to read and learn from the responses of those who read this. I think we call that a "symbiotic relationship" (going back to biology in high school). My next post will explain the name of my blog, "Esse Quam Videri." Enjoy!
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